Blended Families

According to dictionary.com, the blended family definition is that of "a family composed of a couple and their children from previous marriages." This blended family definition is concise and does not denote the complications that can arise from the blending of two separate families into a single family unit. The fact is that blending American families can be a complicated endeavor. Blended families are also known as "step families."

The blended family definition first began evolving centuries ago when the word "step" was used to connote the relationship forged when a man or a woman entered into a marriage covenant with a widow or widower who already had children of her or his own. The word was originally related to the word for "bereaved" though in later centuries (and especially in recent history) the step family relationship can be forged even if no death has occurred.

Technically speaking a step family can only be the result of a marriage. The blended family definition, however, becomes blurred when scholars are forced to take into account the many blending American families that are not resulting from marriage or death. Many men and women (and their children) are choosing to live together in a familial state without formalizing their relationship with marriage.

According to the etymology a step family cannot exist without a marriage covenant and this is one of the reasons that "blended family" has become the phrase du jour among those who wish to define the situation that occurs when two previously existing families come together to live as a single family unit.

Blending American Families, in terms of relationship building, is not as easy as the etymology makes it sound. The truth is that it takes quite a lot of time to blend two families together into a single (hopefully harmonious) unit. Adjusting to new parental figures is hard for children. Trying to navigate the road of parenthood with children not biologically spawned is difficult for adults. It is because the blending process is so difficult that many blended families fail.

Thankfully there are things that blending American families can do to ensure their success. The biggest and most successful approach to blending is therapy. There are many relationship counselors who specialize in blending American families and working within the blended family definition to forge new bonds between spouses and their step children and to help the step siblings learn to live together as brothers and sisters while not feeling like they are betraying their other parents.

The truth is that no family will fit into a standard dictionary definition. The blended family definition, for example, is notoriously narrow. It does not account for adoptions, grandparents or other extended family relationships that exist outside the realm of parent and child.

Don't let the narrowness of the blended family definition restrict you if you are attempting to blend your family together with your new spouse's family! Just remember that families take time, energy and patience to build. Families do not spring up over night or in a void. Be patient and work hard. Your family will blend eventually!